A Weekend Without Tiffany's

And in a few short hours, a plane will arrive. I should be dying with anticipation, and my heart should be racing like a sprinter (that tripped and fell at the last leg of the race with 100 meters left to go).

But I'm not. I'm skeptical and paranoid. I'm sweating and delusional.

In the past, our weekends were planned out and we knew exactly where we were going, and what we were going to do. I knew that there would be laughter and chatter. I knew that everything would turn out even better than I expected.

But this time, things seem different. She seems distant and disinterested. And I'm left with a feeling of emptiness that this weekend might turn into an absolute disaster.

Maybe I'm over thinking things, and maybe all the fights, and talks, and compromising has left me fearful. Will things end with a screaming match? Will I fall into one of my episodes and screw everything up all over again?

We're trying to rebuild what we lost in the past 2 and a half months. We're trying to put things back into place, and re-lay all the fallen Jenga pieces that are spread all over the floor. 14th Feb 2009 - Valentine's Day, thats when it all started crumbling.

I sure hope for the best this weekend, that what we've been working so hard for will fall into place, and she'll be COMFORTABLE again.

"Keep Moving Forward" - Lewis Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)

Gin "Destroy, Rebuild"

Sometimes goodbye is a 2nd chance

When you know that the path ahead is a one-way dead end, there really is no point driving on. But you tell yourself "I'm already half way, I'll drive on for 2 - 3 miles and stop at the next station". And so you keep driving.

Along the bumpy road, you stumble upon portholes and your car suffers stratches all over, and you think to yourself, it's okay, a little scar won't do much damage to my super car. By the next station, your bumper gets dented, but still you tell yourself, it's alright, it'll survive the next pit stop.

Then, at the next stop (with your hanging bumpers and heart-wrecking scratches), you know you should really stop driving - but you don't. You inspect the damages and somehow, they don't seem to look that threatening. At least your tyres are intact. So you decide to drive on...........And finally, you hit a ridiculously sharp bent and your tyres blow. Right in your face.

You're now stranded in the middle of the road, unmoving and helpless. You ask yourself, why didn't I stop 5 miles back, knowing this would happen? It really is not stupidity, is it? (and no, it's got nothing to do with a GPS). It's DENIAL. We all bloody live in denial.. thinking that things are okay, when they're not..and that only leads you to one direction - a dead end.

Sigh..

^^lil'Lin