Messed-up life, anyone?

Doesn't our screwed-up lives remind you of that big bunch of ugly, messy and horribly tangled-up wires under your desk/behind your TV? Yup, THAT mess which you have no spare minute to sort out. Well, the mess wouldn’t really do any harm initially – just a little unpleasant to look at and maybe causing a sneezing-marathon. Of course we do know its there and we hate to see it, BUT we all dread the pain of untangling a bunch of bacteria-filled-dust-coated wires, don't we? And so we buy some wire-covering device to “conceal” them, just so it goes away for a little while. (ignorance!)

Such scenario illustrates perfectly how complicated our lives can get; when everything piles up and gets so entangled – you lose your focus and line of thought along the way. How on earth do you unplug something when you have no idea where it’s coming from in the first place? You can’t even remember why you made certain purchases (the RM10,0000000 BOSE speakers?!). You no longer know which wire connects to the utmost important item, say, your LCD TV. So, yes, your life sucks.

Even when everything is so messed-up, we refuse to take the next step to clear things up, because we fear that taking one wrong step may blow things out of proportion. Like how your TV might explode in your face.

Naturally, life gets messy if left unattended for too long, simply because humans are too fond of comfort and we tend to leave things the way they are. BUT WRONG!! It's 2009 now and I think its time to go wireless! And by wireless, I meant to live care-freely with no tangled-up strings and burdens. Clean up your life! And when you look behind the TV again – you can smile, because that disgusting bunch of mess will not be there..

lil'Lin^^

A Weekend Without Tiffany's

And in a few short hours, a plane will arrive. I should be dying with anticipation, and my heart should be racing like a sprinter (that tripped and fell at the last leg of the race with 100 meters left to go).

But I'm not. I'm skeptical and paranoid. I'm sweating and delusional.

In the past, our weekends were planned out and we knew exactly where we were going, and what we were going to do. I knew that there would be laughter and chatter. I knew that everything would turn out even better than I expected.

But this time, things seem different. She seems distant and disinterested. And I'm left with a feeling of emptiness that this weekend might turn into an absolute disaster.

Maybe I'm over thinking things, and maybe all the fights, and talks, and compromising has left me fearful. Will things end with a screaming match? Will I fall into one of my episodes and screw everything up all over again?

We're trying to rebuild what we lost in the past 2 and a half months. We're trying to put things back into place, and re-lay all the fallen Jenga pieces that are spread all over the floor. 14th Feb 2009 - Valentine's Day, thats when it all started crumbling.

I sure hope for the best this weekend, that what we've been working so hard for will fall into place, and she'll be COMFORTABLE again.

"Keep Moving Forward" - Lewis Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)

Gin "Destroy, Rebuild"

Sometimes goodbye is a 2nd chance

When you know that the path ahead is a one-way dead end, there really is no point driving on. But you tell yourself "I'm already half way, I'll drive on for 2 - 3 miles and stop at the next station". And so you keep driving.

Along the bumpy road, you stumble upon portholes and your car suffers stratches all over, and you think to yourself, it's okay, a little scar won't do much damage to my super car. By the next station, your bumper gets dented, but still you tell yourself, it's alright, it'll survive the next pit stop.

Then, at the next stop (with your hanging bumpers and heart-wrecking scratches), you know you should really stop driving - but you don't. You inspect the damages and somehow, they don't seem to look that threatening. At least your tyres are intact. So you decide to drive on...........And finally, you hit a ridiculously sharp bent and your tyres blow. Right in your face.

You're now stranded in the middle of the road, unmoving and helpless. You ask yourself, why didn't I stop 5 miles back, knowing this would happen? It really is not stupidity, is it? (and no, it's got nothing to do with a GPS). It's DENIAL. We all bloody live in denial.. thinking that things are okay, when they're not..and that only leads you to one direction - a dead end.

Sigh..

^^lil'Lin

Lose to time and u lose everything

Right person, wrong time. Wrong person, right time. Seriously, these theories are messing the shit out of my mind. I never truly believed in "THAT magical moment"..but it seems to be ringing loud in my ears right now.

Sometimes when you lose a person you love, it isn't because they weren't the perfect one for you..but because that magical moment you're longing for has not striked. Hence, the imperfection of timing. And so, you lose your supposedly THE ONE, because you lost to time. (a little too early)

Sometimes when you find a person you really love, but somehow he just can't be THE ONE because say, he is married, he is taken or he has commitment issues. And so you lose your supposedly THE ONE, because once again, you lost to time. (a little too late)

And finally, when that magical moment strikes, you meet someone - but you know that someone just isn't THE ONE, but because timing is perfect right now, he automatically becomes the one AT this time. So yeah, you didnt lose to time, you just didn't win the person you ever wanted...

IRONIC, isnt it? Ok im bullshitting like there's tomorrow. But if you get me....dude, you have REAL issues! :P

^^lil' Lin

Gastronomy

Having just finished a meal of KFC, shes feeling absolutely stuffed, exhausted from the chewing. Stomachs bloated. Head’s rather dizzy from the digestion. Veins clogged up from the oil and fats. All she wants is to sit back and digest, and let it all settle in.

She knows exactly what she wants for her next meal, a healthy serving of Chili Cheese Fries. But being so bloated from all the fried chicken, she would rather wait, digest, and relax, allowing hunger to kick in again before she places her order.

So for now, she is pacing herself, walking past the shop and taking glances at the picture on the menu in anticipation. The walking helps her digest a little faster, and the smell coming from the shop enhances the craving.

Carl’s Junior will just have to wait for its next customer patiently then, knowing that the order will be supersized.

Gin "When's Dinner?"

My Benediction

My energy is constantly being drained daily. Dealing with emotions that leave me exhausted. I think and think, ponder and ponder, trying to find the answer to why I indulge in this obsession even when it leaves me drained.

With no sense of security, and no sense of belonging; with no sense of fulfillment, and no sense of longevity, I ride this coaster, making it a daily routine of exhaustion. Waking up way before the alarm sounds, only to be disappointed by the image on my cell.

Have I lost myself? Delving so deeply into this. Realizing I no longer recognize the person in the mirror, or the person I wake up being. Never expecting myself to be in such turmoil, or committing so much hard work.

I want this, but I don’t want to feel like this. Lord, hear my prayer and relieve me from this burden, because you and you alone can release me from these lingering pains.

However, I thank you for the smiles and the laughter, the joy and the bliss. May you bless me with more of happy, and less of sad.

Gin "Hear my prayer"

A Series Of Very Fortunate Events

Hugh & Bea watched Malaysian Dream Girl.

Hugh said I should watch it because Ginny actually auditioned and failed epically.

Didn't take much notice.

Bea told me to watch it because the contestants were a joke. "SUSI"

Watched 1st - 3rd episode on YouTube for a laugh.

Couldn't be bothered to watch entire episodes for results and checked website.

No results on website, but had a Facebook link.

Clicked on Facebook link.

Stumbled upon "Cindy, Whats up la?" discussion thread.

Never liked Cindy's fake accent so clicked on thread.

Read some comments. Terrible English. Blasted back.

XXX.blogspot.com as a start to your post? --> ATTENTION SEEKER!

Wrote nasty comment. Deleted it 5 minutes later.

Thread got rather heated.

Sent private message to apologize for mean-ness on April 8th at 12.07pm.

Best decision of my life.

Special Thanks to:



For being absolutely ridiculous.




For being the world's WORST/BEST social networking site and the point of contact.







For her fake accent, bitch initiatives, and terrible looking face.








For the blogosphere and the irritating blogspot title that made me take notice in the first place!







VERY NICEEEE!






Gin "It's Funny How From Simple Things, The Best Things Begin"

p.s. Lin: I still don't like the purple titles. =.=